So, in June of this year, I made a very drastic decision to quit my job and resigned from my very lucrative position at work after only 1 year in the role. No, I don’t have another one lined up and no, I’m still not rich. However, it comes as a surprise to no one that I am the eternal dreamer. I walked away from what could very easily qualify as a dream job simply because it wasn’t MY DREAM. I told my family before I actually quit and while I fully expected everyone to be in uproar over my sporadic decision, instead, I was met with nothing but praise and encouragement. I had a very frank conversation with my husband and told him I could never be truly happy until I at least gave a real effort toward fulfilling my dream and he supported my decision despite knowing the financial burden it would cause for our family. I took a really long time to actually walk away even after giving my notice and in fact, my friends have actually teased me about taking so long to actually quit, giving me the nicknames #worldsworstquitter and
#45daysnotice. (seriously, they even made shirts…)
So, why did I quit my job?
I could easily sum up the most obvious reason#1 – Leila and Samara. I only have a few more years where they’ll want to have anything to do with me and I didn’t want to waste them. Honestly, being a work-outside-of-home mom wasn’t working for me. I was always too tired for them, my schedule had them spending more time with a nanny than I could stand, and I just wasn’t the “mommy” they needed at this time in their lives physically, mentally, or emotionally. I’d seen a very drastic change in their behavior both towards me and outwards at school and I wasn’t cool with it. My husband didn’t see it as much because, well, he was working just as hard, but they’d grown up a lot in the past year and they’d grown far more independent than they needed to at their ages. I was always a very independent child and to a certain extent, it was par for the course growing up in New York City to a single working mom. However, I didn’t always appreciate it or want the same for my children.
2. I really do have faith.
This is actually the second most important reason I quit my job. Have you ever been posed the question, “What would you be doing if you truly had faith in God?” Well I knew that that wasn’t it. I’m one of these people who’ve always claimed to have faith, but never had the courage to act on that claim. I made the decision to spend some time focusing on my family (and myself), making more strides toward my blogs and publishing business, remaining prayerful that what in store for me next will truly be what I’ve envisioned for myself.
3. Money does not mean anything if you don’t have any time to enjoy it.
I really haven’t taken a completely work-free vacation since I’ve started my entire career. I’ve taken work calls the morning of my wedding, the day I gave birth, and a few more absurd times. On my last trip to Liberia, I spent at least a couple of hours a day struggling with my wi-fi to check any work emails that have come through. In the past year, I haven’t even bothered to take a vacation at all out of this ridiculous fear that everything would fall apart while I was gone, or worse, that I’d have 8,000 emails waiting for me to respond. The second scenario actually happens. No matter how much fun my work was, life just wasn’t fun anymore.
4. My body told me to
Here is just a brief illustration of the impact stress can have on the body. Being in a high stress environment can do a lot of damage to the body over time. We all know this to be true. How many trips to the doctor have resulted in the brilliant diagnosis of…yep, you guessed it…STRESS! I was starting to get extremely, unhealthily stressed. My body was tired and starting to fall apart. I could no longer say it was worth it.
I’ve said this from the beginning of my career. Even before I had children of my own, I gave this advice to a former supervisor of mine. Working 50 or 60 ( or sometimes 70 or 80) hours seems so noble and indicative of a hard working career badass. And it’s fine to do this only if you know that what you are sacrificing is not as important as work. This goes beyond just your family. Sometimes it’s sacrificing taking care of your body, sometimes it’s a recreation you really love, sometimes it’s just sleep and peace of mind. I had a choice to make, I chose all of the above.
“So,” you ask, “what have you been doing with yourself?”
First and foremost, I’ve been “momming” and “wifing” it. Way more home cooked meals than take-out, finally getting the kids on a normal schedule, attending soccer games and school events, reading to them at night, just getting a few steps closer to the mom I want to be as well as the mom they need.
Also, I’m doing just what I said I would and working on my dreams and running my (now multiple) home businesses. I’ve also been working hard on both of my blogs (Saver in the City and of course this one), promoting my ebooks, designing new inspirational tees, and my latest venture of buying and selling websites (random, I know.)
Last but not least, I’m finding and extraordinary amount of peace with my decision. I understand that many people are not afforded this opportunity and I see it as a true blessing. My talents and strengths (and weaknesses) come out every day and I am embracing them with all I have. What the future holds, I guess I will soon find out. Meanwhile, as always, I’m just enjoying this journey…