This story just absolutely touched my heart reading it. One of my fondest memories of my little sister was probably at her 4th birthday party. She was telling me about all of her friends and started to describe one of them whom she was most fond of. She described her as shorter than the others and with a special pretty face and eyes. We later learned that it was a little girl with down syndrome. I was touched that rather than point out that she was “different,” my sister embraced her differences and thought nothing more of it.
I see so many children who are so quick to point out other children’s differences for no other reason than to hurt them or make them feel outcasted and it hurts my heart. It hurts me for the teased child and it hurts me that the bully also must have so much masked pain.
Well, read the following story and if you have any words of advice for this parent, please share it below:
My son is 7 y/o and he’s always been different. We encourage his uniqueness and let him be who he wants to be, LGBTQ, it doesn’t matter to us what he identifies as. We live in a small town and my old coworker lives there as well. Her stepson, B, is 10 and is in the same class as my oldest R. We’ve had problems before with this kid where B spit on and pushed down R at a birthday party. B regularly tells R that his clothes are better or more expensive and is overall just a jerk. I don’t tell any of this to my friend, as its not her son and kids are kids. Last night after dinner R tells me he wanted to talk to me. Says the B will whisper in his ear on the bus “Dude, I think L is gay.” and start laughing. I dont know what to do. The momma bear in me wants to do something, but practical mom in me thinks not to. I mean, he isnt doing to TO L and isnt saying it to other kids that we know of.
We’ve known that L’s uniqueness could potentially cause bullying and have talked to R about how it might affect him as well and how to stick up for each other but this is the first time its really happened. Should I talk to my friend about her stepson? Or would this be a better lesson to my children to not let someone’s opinion of them define you and to always be true to yourself? I don’t want to tell R to “ignore it” because I feel like that sets them up for letting things get too far if it escalates. I’m just not sure what to do, if anything, at this point.
What advice do you have for this parenting dilemma?
Kids really can be mean sometimes and I blame the parents. They ahave to learn it somewhere, right?
That’s a really moving story indeed. I hope the mom did both, talk to her friend and encouraged her son to be whatever he wants to be. What bothers me more is that the kid learn these things at home… that’s where it all starts.
That’s a very difficult situation. I think it’s important to start talking with both parties as soon as possible.
Such a serious thing. It’s important to talk both and I know they’re listening and learn from words
I think I would do both. I would let the friend know what’s going on. I would also use this as another opportunity to talk to the kids about acceptance and tolerance.
I agree with Christina, I would talk to both, and I bet the mom of the son who is saying something hurtful would like the opportunity to help her child remedy this situation
While I think it is important to let kids learn to handle difficult situations, I think this has gone beyond the “tough it out” stage. I think you should talk to your friend about her stepson before it escalates.
I agree with the others, the conversations should be had now before anything escalates and feelings are hurt.
It’s hard to give advice. I’d be torn like you, but I think I would definitely say something. It’s our job to protect our kiddos and if you feel it warrants a step in, then definitely and by all means, step in. I would. 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear that a child has to go through something so difficult at a time which is supposed to be the easiest part of their lives. I hope the mom finds a solution.
Kids really learn from their parents and it is our job to teach them these things. We have to teach respect to our children.
i think lots of kids are like this. i dont wanna blame anyone, but I guess education-knowledge about things like this is very important. Parents shud be teaching and educate their kids in situations like this
I only have a teenage stepson so I’m not qualified to give advice, but I’m very sad for this boy’s situation. B’s parents must be a real treat to have raised such a horrible child. I’m grateful that my stepson is such a kind hearted person, he even carried a 7 year old little girl on his back on field day because she was too tired to walk! I wish more kids could be like my stepson.
This is certainly a very serious and very important subject. Teaching kids that equality comes first is key. Leading by example. I think it depends on the particular child how you address it, they all lean differently.
I think the best way to address the issue is to have a mom to mom talk. By laying your cards out, it would make the other party understand you better. Every child is unique and parents must teach their kids to embrace uniqueness. This is one of the first things you should teach a child early on in life. Socialization with other kids will make them learn that no matter what color, or clothes, or physical appearance another kid may have, they are just the same.
That is a teaching moment for sure! I think the parent needs to be sure to pull the child aside and talk about differences and how its all okay. Everyone is different in some way but talking like that isn’t always whats best.